The Oligarchy: Administrators Behind a Wall

The Oligarchy: Administrators Behind a Wall

By Cruz Santana



Everyone remembers junior high with either with fond nostalgia or with disdain. Our overall analysis is somewhat polarizing. Whether you were the cheerleader or the misfit, you were aware of bullying. You knew what it was because you’d grown up with it all around.


Abuse at the hands of others could not go on. The Post-Millennial rise of Generation Z blew the doors wide open on all things tech. Where there were once rumors of wrong doing, hazing, and suicide, now there was glowing evidence painted across backlit, 5-inch screens. Videoed proof sat on replay in full view of Gen-Zed.


They heard the outcry, assembled, and condemned bullying. They weren’t going to stand for it anymore.


They were effective. States enacted legislation protecting children from the evil of their peers. Everyone cheered. Gen-Z successfully revolted against the status quo using their wits, their camera phones, and social media. They were armed, packing 10-megapixel iThings, and they weren’t afraid to use them.




They’re tasked with a massive job, aren’t they? They police vicious, hormonal, and impulsive adolescents. They do their best to maintain order within crowded lunchrooms. They watch gymnasiums (and other places of mass student congregation), ensuring every kid, everywhere, feels respected and understood.


We almost forget they do this job from on high.


A Stoic Divider is Erected


Perhaps they adopt a stoic, standoffish personality to protect their emotional state. Others may argue they’ve become desensitized due to years of frequent exposure.


Free of empathy and intuition, they fail to see the errors in some of the new policies they implement. Teenagers are some of the most intelligent, resourceful human beings on Earth. They learn to play the game.


The Rules


I recently found out what school administrators weigh when discerning bully from wounded. It’s no more than a numbers game, a popularity contest of another sort.


If a student files a complaint against another, the accused is given an opportunity to respond to the allegations with a written statement. After which, they are tasked with producing eyewitnesses to corroborate their defense.


The complainant is brought in second. He or she is given the same witness-producing task. If they cannot produce an equal, or greater, number of witnesses to match the other party’s Dream Team, the claim is dismissed.


Some administrators will go so far as to punish the initiator.


The Wall is Reinforced


This is the actual policy in Texas. Administrators in this fine state are at the center of a faux-democracy within the educational system. The point behind it all is to appear to be sympathetic to the world playing out around them. By standing safely behind the testimony of teenagers (the popular ones, anyway) they can avoid the unnecessary mess of hurt feelings.


The preponderance of the evidence, and no the truth, matters.


It’s a comfortable life being lived behind this proverbial wall. In Texas, principals and vice principals can make upwards of six figures. Without ever doing any real work (like checking the security feeds) they can breeze by for 20, maybe 30 years not including their post-retirement pension. Nothing like a ride on the state’s gravy train!


Students are blithely unaware of all of this they’ve been trained by their devices not to look up at the world around them. They’ve shifted their focus to funny cat memes, shares, and their popularity on Facebook.


The revolution was televised. It will not be again.




By now, you’re probably thinking, “We outnumber them! They should go! We should complain!” It could work. I liken that unlikely notion to winning the lottery.


People who are well liked by the masses form oligarchies. We trusted them, once. They peddled their new policies and we bought them. They won’t be easily toppled down.


In theory, these control freaks would placate and calm the media (glowing boxes, too). They’d spin the story, and in the end, we’d be the ones apologizing. It’s the nature of the beast we created. They’ve figured us out and are fine.


To question their process is to question the movement, entire. Where would we be, then?


In Conclusion


Administrators are tasked with a difficult job. They babysit our children and are forced to mediate between them. When all efforts to watch from afar fail, and the administration becomes involved, they choose to abide by an unreasonable and untrustworthy system to label kids the liar and the victim.


By relying heavily on their trusted objective frame of mind, they fail to see what’s happening right under them. A school’s governing body of three or four calls the shots. The buck begins and ends with them.


Their attitudes will not change. They are who they are. Parents are the key to helping their kids navigate the oligarchy. Listen to them an take their side. You never know when you’ll be the only one who does.


Does this happen often? It does. You may be wondering why tech-savvy teens aren’t capturing it all on YouTube. The answer? Cell phones aren’t allowed in schools.


About the Author


Cruz Santana is a single mother of seven and a professional writer-for-hire and editor in San Antonio, TX, with a background in science and medicine.


She recently made the switch from ghostwriting to writing for the web full-time. Follow her journey into this new world of writing on The Freelance Dance’s blog, My Sweet November.


She loves helping fellow freelancers kick their day jobs to take their hustles full-time.

MUDVILLE DAMES, Author Q & A October 29th, 2015

I joined Mrs. Angelique S. Anderson’s wonderful author Q&A as I am a huge fan and own all of her current released books and It was so exciting and so much fun to learn so much about her and her books!!!

The Wily Wordsmith

I had the enormous pleasure of Mudville Dames hosting an online Q & A for me. It was a blast and I feel so encouraged by the questions asked, not by just them, but my friends as well. Due to the outpouring of support and the responses, I decided to provide a blog for those who were unable to attend but wanted to read the Q & A themselves. To those of you who came, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! An author is nothing without the support of their friends and family! ❤

For your pleasure, M.D refers to Mudville Dames. Anything NOT in bold is me, the other bolded initials and names are those who took part and made it a Q & A that I will never forget. Love you all!!

M.D-Let’s assume there is a foster kid right now, reading this Q & A, what would be the one…

View original post 3,181 more words

Review of ‘A Little Bit of Everything’ by Helen Minazza 4 out of 5 stars

A few days ago Helen Minazza sent me a sample of 5 poems from her Poetry book, ‘A Little Bit Of Everything’. I was going to post this review yesterday – but by the way of the world I fried my old Hard Drive and I am now using a different one.

However, let’s get onto the review. As you can see by the title I gave it a 4 out of 5 star review. Let me give you my reason why. I love poetry, I write a bit myself, in fact Helen’s poetry inspired me to go back through my old poetry and see if any of them theme together.
Helen writes from her heart, you can feel that. That is one of the best things about poetry, I don’t want to give anything away but Helen writes a style of poetry you rarely see – she tells short little stories in her stanzas. Things she loves, things she feels, lots of emotions jumbling around – and from what I read she is a reasonably happy lady.
Why not a full five stars if I liked the work so much?Helen Minazza
I would have liked more imagery. Some of it was just really direct information. That left me lacking that poetry feel I crave where I can relate to the poem because the words describe without telling me what I am suppose to know about it.
However, that could be my personal opinion, check it out for yourself, here are some words from the lovely Helen Minazza herself.

A bit about Helen:

I suffer from small person syndrome, meaning that you can’t be in the same room as me and not know I am there! I am 4ft 9 and 39 years old. I often describe myself as being a book worm cunningly disguised as a party animal. I used to love dancing every weekend, shunning the usual alcoholic beverages for 8 cans of Redbull and wonder why I couldn’t sleep at night! My favourite saying is “I am too young to have that much past”. These days though I tend to read more often than clubbing … by quite a lot! I live in Cornwall, England with my wonderful partner and my two beautiful boys.

I have a tendency to mishear things – I had been writing poetry since I was about 15 and at the age of 21 I had a few poems published in various anthologies. One night I asked a friend of mine what I should call my first book. He suggested “Frustrated”, to which I promptly replied, “What, Freshly Grated?”. From that point on my first book was to be called Freshly Grated, right up until it became A Little Bit of Everything – I like to think of myself as consistently inconsistent!
You can find out a bit more about me on my website at or find my book on Amazon at
What inspires Helen to write?

When I read I visualise the story, I see the terrain and people involved. It is like a cinema in my head and I wanted to reproduce this, I wanted to see if I could put in to words the ideas and pictures I have running through my mind.

Trans Myths Busted V.1: Foods that Increase or Decrease Sexual Hormones:

As an introduction, a huge myth has been going around for some time now. The myth that certain foods will give you more estrogen, or more testosterone, this myth began because someone somewhere saw the word “phytoestrogens” and scared the 211985_5_bejesus out of themselves – more than likely this was someone who was trying to use their diet to increase muscle mass and assumed the muscle increase was due to higher testosterone levels coming from their food. Honestly, I have no idea how that rumor got started that led it to the knowledge of such things.
Your diet will NEVER alter your sexual hormones produced through sexual organs. However, diets high in carbs, bad cholesterols, and high-sodium can lead to obesity if they’re an everyday constant without exercise. Yet you do need carbs, cholesterol, and sodium in your diet – everything in moderation right? Too much of a good thing, can be a bad thing. NOW it is NOT the foods that make these changes. Being Obese can make this change.

Heavy amounts of fat in the body can cause the body to produce more estrogen this is what leads to gynecomastia in Cis-Men:
Fat tissue produces excess amounts of estrogen, high levels of which have been associated with the risk of breast, endometrial, and some other cancers.”

Now, this does not mean – cut all fat from your diet. Healthy fats from avocado, nuts, milks, 100% pure butter, raw olive oil, coconut oil, and eggs (among other foods) can really intensely help heart health, and help with weight loss – they make great snacks that help keep you full longer and keep you from over eating. The body takes longer to burn through them and unlike carbs they sustain your body for a lot longer during exercise. This is not to say you don’t need carbs. After a workout you will need at least some carbs – preferably fruit to give you a healthy boost of sugar and bring up your blood glucose levels. This brings me to my next point.

Testosterone being raised in men and women, whether Cis or Trans, this cannot be done with FOOD unless that food is high in DHEA:

Eat good fats with plenty of omega 3 fatty acids. DHEA is made from cholesterol, and your body makes cholesterol from healthy fats. You can get essential fatty acids from a variety of oils like ghee, raw butter, codliver, coconut oil, red palm oil, flax seed oil, evening primrose oil, pumpkin seed and olive oils.”

However, DHEA has not been medically proven to raise testosterone in transmen, because the body is still actively operating off of the sexual organs (ovaries) that produce Proestrogen and Estrogen that give someone female sexual characteristics, both primary and secondary, and gives them the ability to reproduce (carry offspring). Now it may raise testosterone but it will also raise estrogen levels as well, not to contradict myself, I simply mean to say it will not provide transmen the boost in testosterone they are wanting without also raising their estrogen levels – unless they have had a hysterectomy. However, there is no conclusive evidence for that to be true or not. I am just speculating that once the ovaries have been removed and the body’s center to create estrogen is basically gone, your body will have the natural free testosterone running through it and you may be able to increase that hormone. Free Testosterone is not the same as the Testosterone that creates male primary and secondary sexual characteristics alone. Speaking in terms of transgender males of course, however, here is what I have learned from my research on the subject:

Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) is a hormone produced by the body’s adrenal glands. The body uses DHEA to make androgens and estrogens, the male and female sex hormones. DHEA levels peak at about age 25, then go down steadily as you get older. By the time people are 70 to 80 years old, their DHEA levels are only 10 to 20% those in young adults.

            Because levels of DHEA decline with age, researchers have wondered if DHEA could work as an anti-aging treatment. In older people, lower than normal levels of DHEA have been associated with osteoporosis, heart disease, memory loss, and breast cancer. But there’s no proof that low levels of DHEA cause these conditions, or that taking DHEA can help prevent them. Plus DHEA supplements vary widely in quality. Many products tested don’t have the amount of DHEA in them that the label says they do.

            Also, DHEA supplements can have side effects. They may lower levels of HDL “good” cholesterol in the body, and in women they may raise levels of testosterone, as well as estrogen.

            The DHEA in supplements is a synthetic hormone, so you should talk to your doctor before taking it.”
Source: Dehydroepiandrosterone | University of Maryland Medical Center
University of Maryland Medical Center
If you are naturally transitioning – especially from Female to Male the Link above to UMM’s information on DHEA is something I highly Suggest you read into and be aware of the side effects, positives and negative ones.  I have no physical evidence to prove that it will not work for a natural transition if one has already had a full hysto but please be fully aware of what you are taking – and its effects – this goes for all medication honestly.

Other ways that increase FREE TESTOSTERONE in the body (this is different than the testosterone produced in testes or given with gel or injections.) keep in mind these are all TEMPORARY boosts:

  • Exercise, especially weight lifting.
  • Sex
  • Weight Loss
  • High intensity endurance and peak training
  • The Mineral Zinc
  • Raise your vitamin D levels – this means in foods as well as sunlight but do remember that your liver stores vitamins D, E, K, and A and you can overdose on these vitamins.
  • Reduce Stress – easier said than done –
  1. When you’re under a lot of stress, your body releases high levels of the stress hormone cortisol. This hormone actually blocks the effects of testosterone, presumably because, from a biological standpoint, testosterone-associated behaviors (mating, competing, aggression) may have lowered your chances of survival in an emergency (hence, the “fight or flight” response is dominant, courtesy of cortisol).”

  • Limit or Eliminate Sugar from your diet – this is due to the high levels of bad simple carbs in sugars, as well as lowering your possibly increased glucose and insulin levels
  • I said this one before, but, raise your Healthy Fat levels, eat more healthy fats, seriously.
  • Increase proteins!!! Whey Protein, Natural Proteins.

All of these can be beneficial to increasing Testosterone – They also sell Testosterone Boosters in stores – but these are HARD on your Liver, and do not ALWAYS work.  They are intended for Cis Males typically speaking.
That’s enough about Testosterone, I am sure you can agree. Let’s talk about foods that raise Estrogen Levels – Again, back to that keyword, Phytoestrogen.  The Big ONE is Soy Products – you’ve heard it said – Soy raises ESTROGEN! This is not true, well not in the sense people think. It doesn’t affect your natural Sexual Hormones. For Trans Women, eating an excess of soy products probably won’t make you look more effeminate. HOWEVER, phytoestrogen can help with those going through menopause, so there is something it could do:

Soy is the richest dietary source of phytoestrogens, particularly a type of phytoestrogen called isoflavones. The isoflavones in soybeans bind to estrogen receptors in the body. There have been hundreds of studies on soy, and although there are conflicting results, the isoflavones in soy appear to reduce the incidence and severity of hot flashes and increase vaginal lubrication.

Flaxseed is another significant source of phytoestrogens, specifically a type of phytoestrogen called lignans. Like the isoflavones in soy, lignans have both an estrogenic and antiestrogenic effect, although to a much lesser degree.”

But it is very weak effects on the hormones, you would probably have to eat an entire field of Soy Beans to even see a noticeable effect, but it wouldn’t be on your sexual characteristics – primary or secondary. It would have the smaller effects and mostly work for those who are cis-women, or naturally, Transmen who still have female organs (ovaries) and do not take Estrogen-Suppressants or Testosterone. But even then, as you can see it is minor.

Here is another snippet from that same website:

Your adrenal glands secrete cortisol, which is often referred to as the stress hormone. Cortisol is part of the fight-or-flight response, which is a physiological reaction triggered in times of stress or when the body perceives danger. While cortisol is vital to survival as a part of the fight-or-flight response, having chronically high levels of cortisol in the body can increase stress levels, blood pressure and visceral fat, which is the fat that surrounds your midsection and contributes to an apple-shape. High levels of cortisol during menopause are especially bothersome, because menopause already causes a shift in body fat.

This May Help

Caffeine and alcohol have been shown to cause mild increases in cortisol secretion. Women going through menopause should balance caffeine and alcohol consumption to keep cortisol levels in check.”

Keep in mind this information is directed at Cis-Women going through Menopause, so please take it with a grain of salt. Use it as a tool for education on the subject.

Here is a snippet on how specific diets can lower testosterone, this is for both genders – or those who are just curious – doesn’t matter. Please keep in mind to read the words “short-term effects” carefully, and remember what I said before – that all of this is temporary effects.

May 17, 2001 — Watching how much and what kind of fat you eat may have an unexpected benefit, according to a report in the May issue of Metabolism. Meals low in fat may actually decrease levels of testosterone, a male sex hormone that may increase risk of prostate cancer.

“This was only a preliminary, short-term study,” says researcher Madeleine J. Ball, MD, a professor of biomedical sciences at the University of Tasmania in Australia. “It aims to alert other researchers to consider the short-term effects of meals on hormones.”

Okay, so here I will post for transwomen, things that will temporarily increase estrogen in the body, please keep in mind this may or may not have any results to your sexual characteristics:


  • Gain weight, ONLY if you are underweight
  • Get a prescription for birth control pills or the birth control patch, both of which can provide estrogen to the body and regulate hormones. The estrogen patch provides almost 60 percent more estrogen compared to pills, says
  • Buy over-the-counter estrogen supplements; these are usually available at health food stores and in some drug stores, in the vitamin aisle. Though these claim to be natural, they may interact with medications and may not be safe for people with certain medical conditions, so prior to buying them, ask your doctor if it is safe to do so.

I understand that this is a much smaller list than the one to increase testosterone. This may be because there are more studies to increase male hormones than female hormones – but sexism in the medical field is something I can leave for another blog. I apologize that I cannot find more for transwomen who would like to naturally transition. However, here is a wikihow that provides information on increasing Estrogen as well, a lot of it however is based on getting medical care and is written and directed mostly at Cis-Women and those who are going through MenoPause – whether they are transmen or cis women. Basically it’s for those who still have Ovaries.  This includes Intersex individuals.

No matter how you decide to lower or raise any hormone in your body I highly recommend you speak with a medical professional before you do.  Whether you find a good nutritionist, or seek your primary physician. I also understand that it is not always something someone can afford to do, let alone something someone is capable of doing – if you can please seek out free clinics, or low cost clinics. Especially for those of us who are transitioning, and intersex individuals, many people do not understand how much work Hormones do in their bodies – and what a big role they take on. The role is massive, and Testosterone and Estrogen are NOT the only hormones running through that place you call your body.

So Myth: Fact Or Fiction!?

Debunked and Proved. It’s both – Yes temporary effects can happen – but these are not enough to affect your body in detrimental ways.  You can temporarily increase Free Testosterone, by eating foods that have healthy cholesterol that can be turned into DHEA in the body or you can take DHEA supplements – however this is not scientifically proven to work for people who are transitioning. So the facts remain inconclusive for that, as no study has been done that I am aware of.

Increasing estrogen with Soy? Inconclusive results, however, a larger portion of those results point to ‘NO’. It is slightly suggested for Menopause but however, is still said to be weak and have little to no effect aside from helping with vaginal dryness.

So basically eat a healthy diet, one that is fit to your body’s needs, not one that you think may help you look more masculine or more effeminate. Food is meant to keep our bodies operational, and keep us regulated. There is nothing wrong with naturally transitioning, but keep in mind that a lot of the effects are temporary and you will eventually either need hormones or a hysto (for transmen). Also keep in mind that if you are not careful and have not had a Hysto and then have Top Surgery (if that is your goal) and you are not using e-blockers (which are rare and hard to get prescribed depends where you live) or using Testosterone injections or gel, it is very possible for your fat to grow back in that area – especially if you gain weight, this is the same as Cis-Men who gain breasts when they’re overweight.

They’re no magic ingredients that will put hair on your chest, that is just an old saying, I promise.

Healthy diet (as is the diet/lifestyle eating your body specifically requires this can be different for everyone there is no one size fits all) cardio and strength training, and being active are things your body needs – they may not help you transition, but they will make transitioning a lot easier.

Consult a Doctor or Nutritionist before taking any supplements or making any drastic changes to your diet.

If You do plan on taking synthetic supplements please consider taking milk thistle, this may help protect your liver – which supplements like DHEA can damage.


I hope this post can help dispel the large amounts of misinformation flying around the trans* community involving foods that may increase or decrease hormones and give you some insight on why those foods have an effect on hormones in the first place.

~~~J.M. Steger~~~

Trans* Positive In Media and Literature

(::In order from left to right:: Janet Mock, Buck Angel, Laverne Cox, Shane Ortega, Caityln Jenner, Aydian Dowling)

As we dredge forward in the trenches of the battle for Human Rights, there is a huge change happening around us, with amazing people leading the way in front of us.

Laverne Cox in her controversial role on Orange Is The New Black, that highlights a major issue of trans* people and the way they are treated in our prison system – including violence, solitary, and the family struggle dealing with her ex-wife and son.

Caityln Jenner in her very real life role in the media, including her new show/series I Am Cait, showing in a documentary style what it’s like for her family and friends and the continuing acceptance of her transition.

Buck Angel, who is a strong activist and an icon of popular culture, who does talks, has done a documentary and is a huge representation for the trans* community & body positivity.

Shane Ortega who led the transgender rights for open & trans* in the US Military, and he won. Making it easier now for many of the USA Soldiers to serve and be openly transgender and receive hormone replacement therapy. (here is a better link for specifics:

Aydian Dowling who’s big win for the top five of the next Men’s Health Magazine cover, and his big appearance on Ellen Degeneres’ show made HUGE strides.

The list continues;

We’re even starting to get more transgender characters in Television shows and Fiction literature.

Tans positivity is important, and it will never NOT be important. Expressing to people that being transgender is not a negative thing is a very important thing indeed. Why you ask?

Every day trans* youth commit suicide, do you remember Leelah Alcorn? If people were educated to understand transsexuality/Transgender information

“ A transsexual is a person in which the sex-related structures of the brain that define gender identity are exactly opposite the physical sex organs of the body. Put even more simply, a transsexual is a mind that is literally, physically, trapped in a body of the opposite sex.”

What exactly is Transsexuality?

This is one description of man, it is important for everyone to know that being trans* is not a choice. It is no more a choice

I urge everyone to do their research, and to those writers out there, I urge you to bring positive light to transgender characters – they are real – they are people just like anyone else – and they deserve to be seen as such.

I am tired of seeing the constant demonization of Transgender characters in Media. Shame to Pretty Little Liars for their big reveal of the big bad A being a transwoman who was incest-involved with her twin brother.

Trans people are not criminals, they’re not demons, and we as a human race need to learn to accept them – and bring positivity to the light.

THREE BIG CHEERS FOR OUR TRANS MEN AND WOMEN LEADERS (I included some, but NOT ALL) in the picture and descriptions.  You’re out there making a better world for those who don’t have their own voice to do so!

as a last little blurb I plan to self-promote just a tiny bit, I have recently started a novella series on The Unconditional Love Series, the first installment “Love Over Lamb” is available as an ebook for purchase or free for Kindle Unlimited users now.   -Love Over Lamb – By J.M. Steger

So In short, be good to yourself, be loving to yourself, be positive, be trans positive, because Trans Lives Matter, and Trans Is Beautiful.


Asexuality Visibility Week is Coming Up!!!



  • “A person who has no sexual feelings or desires.”

    Ace Awareness week is coming up: October 19-October 25th 2015!

    So all of my blogs always have to do with one or another thing that tends to relate to me personally, I am not asexual. I am a bisexual man who is married, to an asexual man. So yes I relate to this topic, in my own way.

    If you’re wondering, yes I knew my husband was asexual before we got married. I do not sleep around outside our marriage to quam my desires either. It simply is not an issue that we deal with as a couple – at all. We are both very intimate, and they’re more ways than just sexual intercourse that can be intimate. However, this blog is not going to spotlight my sex life nor anyone else’s, this spotlight is for those who are happy as hell without a sex life. This will be just some information to spread awareness for the asexual community and to remind people they are real, they are not lying, and it is possible.

    To start here is a quote from an actual Asexual:
    “To me asexuality is someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction, not physical, but sexual. I know they’re some asexual people who do masturbate, but not all do. Everyone’s experience can be different. Some need a bond to even be with someone – a strong connection as it were. It can be hard to explain because of the broad spectrum.”

    An asexual person is not someone who is celibate. Celibate is someone who chooses to ignore sexual desires. Most times this is in a quest to remain pure. Other times this is in a quest to maybe clear one’s mind. They’re a lot of reasons someone may decide to be celibate, but this is a completely different concept. Asexual people are not choosing to ignore sexual desires – there simply just isn’t any sexual desire to begin with.
    here is a nice looking FAQ on asexuality.

    We live in a society where every which way you look. It’s on every street you walk down and every corner of every town is covered in sex. Scantily clad women, half naked muscle rippling men in their boxers, movies that have tons of sex not to mention every television show trying to stay relevant. You hear it every day don’t you? Of course you do. Sex sales, sex sales, sex sales – what can’t sex do? People will tell you how sex cures migraines, which isn’t true for everyone. People will tell you Sex will make you nicer, less irritable. “Somebody just needs to get laid!”

    This happens every day to people who don’t want to get laid – they’re not irritable because they haven’t had sex, they’re irritable because you won’t leave them alone about it.
    There is a very not famous song that says: “If you had your own sex life would you be worried about mine.” Do you ever wonder if these people are simply projecting out on you? Maybe, but we can’t be sure really can we?

    Sexuality comes in many forms but which do you hear most often?
    Heterosexual (straight) and Homosexual (gay or lesbian) and Bisexual (someone attracted romantically and sexually to both men and women. BI as in two.)

    Even now we’re hearing more about Pansexuality as well. (Disclaimer: I have been told this is not someone who is sexually attracted to pans. [jk])
    But I have a sinking feeling that this is because they are willing to accept your sexuality as real so long as you are having sex. Everyone is concerned with making sure everyone is having sex, in fact how often to lesbians and gays hear, “so how exactly do you have sex?” Because they want to know about sex – they want to make sure they are having sex.

    So this is what asexual people live with every day. Sex this, sex that, sex on the wall, sex on the ceiling. It really gets out of hand. However, the moment someone says, “I don’t have sex, I am not sexually aroused, or I don’t have sexual desires.” People get defensive.

    “You haven’t met the right person.”

    “You just haven’t tried it yet.”

    “You’re lying; it’s cool if you’re gay. You don’t have to lie.”

    Now don’t get it mixed up, some asexual people do have sex. Here is a clip from Asexuality 101 from the FAQ link I posted above:

    If an asexual is not attracted to anyone sexually, why would they have sex?

There are a number of reasons why an asexual person might have sex. Some asexuals are in relationships with people who are not asexual and negotiate sex as part of their relationship. Some asexuals have sex because they enjoy the physical and emotional coasexualitynnections sex can provide. And some asexuals simply enjoy the pleasurable sensation of sex with another person. Sexuality is defined by how a person feels, not by their behavior.”
Moral of the story, just because someone tells you they’re asexual doesn’t mean they are. And just because someone says they’re asexual doesn’t mean they’re not. Please find your way to the links provided and talk to actual Asexuals – and even partners of Asexuals. And Please Educate Yourself.